Listen up all you over-50-something guys. Especially those of you that have lost wives to the reaper. There is no such thing as an instant relationship and no one can replace that lovely, little broad who gave so much and did everything for you. Mosey on over to match.com or eharmony.com and take the test. Find out who you really are now that you're alone and get that head on straight, man.

Oh, and something else, it's not 1970 anymore. Things have changed, baby.

Water but no power. I'm at my workplace checking up on openings. At least there's power at work. I will get a shower today! Also looking for an open laudromat, so let me know if you find one here in Richmond.

I rode to work on a shock wave. My special "Lovers" tree covers the grass in my backyard. The tree was considerate enough to miss the house and the shed as it fell, taking out just two stretches of fencing. I went out at sunrise, mourned, and took pictures. I called my workplace hotline and learned that I was expected to report to work at noon. I have no water and no electricity. Only about 400 people out of this entire city of over 400,000 have power. I couldn't believe I was being asked to report to work on the 9th floor of a 24 story building.

So I changed my clothes, and rode in. I felt like I was in a dream or on a hollywood set. Downed trees, mangled power lines, crushed porches -- people milling around in shock, dismay, disbelief and nonchanlance -- yellow plastic ribbons and safety orange cones blocking off parts of the streets -- gangs of kids on bikes lazily pedaling along. And I'm going to work! Just a like it was an ordinary day! The sun is shining, the sky is blue. Man. What a trip!

I got within 6 blocks of my workplace and suddenly the power is on! Here is where the 400 residents with electricity are hiding! Right around the governor's mansion. Must be dumb luck. uh huh.

Let's just put the icing on the cake, shall we? As I walked to my car through the cross walk (green, my way), a car came down the road and into the cross walk right in front of me. It was very close. I glared at her. She glared at me.

Driving home from work a very large semi almost pushed me off the road when the left lane disappeared while I was still in it. I suppose the driver couldn't see me. I try to be charitable. The perfect end to a perfect day.

I would've stopped to pick up beer but I figure in my condition best not to.

Well, that's my happy ending.

Hey, if you find out what it is I have that no one is telling me about, let me know will you? Just as one anonymous blogger to another. Thanks.

Nothing like a manic Monday to make a person really, truly nuts. Once again, it's not my fault but I'm shit anyway. How nice.

At work they want me to hop up and down on one foot with my hand tied behind my back and then count to 10 before I hit the ground. What a life! So, why wasn't I born rich? Oh, yeah. I was born a genius and then slammed. Thanks.

If your hesitating about buying Recent Forgeries (see earlier post) don't. I've listened to the CD and loved it. I listened to it outside lying on the grass in front of my house in the shade under a tree. Lovely. My favorite is the last track, 16. It's music. But not like anything you'll hear on the radio. Enjoy!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ... I'm not at home because my friend needs someone to watch his dogs. (I'm having withdrawal. Nothing like a MAC but this HP Pavillion is fairly decent.) My most recent browsing has been to the Science Museum of Virginia to check out "Swinging on the Tracks." The musuem used to be a very large train station. The event takes place on the tracks, apparently. I thought they had all been torn out.

My friend lives in the country. uh, huh. That one. I spent part of the day investigating his property with his two white German Shepherds (the girls). There's an old falling down barn that used to house a horse and some other animals. At the moment it's mostly full of hay and barn parts and old tools. Fascinating. Also has an animal-dug hole in the center. I'm glad the animal wasn't there. The girls raced off after a large beast, probably a deer. But they came back. My dog, about half their size, took off, too. But he came back right away when I called. He's like their little brother. He gets to follow them and come in last.

Well, that's all I can come up with. I need to get my computer/net fix now.