The Blogger interface has a spell checker but I'm not sure it works. Every time I use it I get the spell check window with "undefined" in it. Maybe it's because I'm on a Mac with Safari. More reliable is using TextEdit to compose and spell check. I suppose I could use Pages but that would be overkill.

A lot has happened in the blog world since I started blogging. I was blogging before it was a word, actually. My involvement started with using Gopher and message boards. I'm amazed at how many still use news groups to interact. However, for basic text messaging you can't beat it. It's easy to use and a lot like email: everybody gets it.

After groups I got into websites. Kind of a leap but that's how it was back in 1995. I built my first site for the company I worked for. It was fun. There were no standards and the only restrictions were imposed by the limits of the web. Most sites were just billboards. I think my boss looked at the site maybe once or twice. I'm sure that's not the case now. In tandem with that project I also developed my first personal site. It was about 3 pages of mostly text.

Then I discovered eZines. I created a zine that I still publish about quarterly. It's pretty aimless but it keeps me off the streets.

Next came blogging. Blogger was about all there was. Sure there were some other options but they were all more technically involved than I wanted to be. I started my love affair with Webmonkey about this time. Thank goodness for their blog review. It convinced me to stay with Blogger. Writing is what I like to do. The technical stuff is just a means to an end.

Just about that same time my daughter got into Bravenet. She developed a Backstreet Boys site, with a guest book and other features plugged in, that logged thousands of hits per day and even made her a little money. I was forced to upgrade my hosting package just to accommodate it. (Although her site has been totally removed for 5 years it still gets about 10 hits a day.) I thought Bravenet was cute and very smart but for kids. I kept on blogging.

In the last couple of years there has been a blogging explosion. Bravenet offers easy journaling as does AOL. You can blog with just about anybody now. I've just rediscovered Live Journal which reminds me a lot of Bravenet except that it's for adults—I mean it's a got a more sophisticated look. Works a lot like Bravenet, though. I'm seriously considering starting yet another journal. I've never had a real topic and it's worked for me. Suppose I should mull over why I have so many journals/blogs and why they aren't all in one big spot. Hmmmm.

Song of the Day: I Know You're Out There Somewhere, Moody Blues

If it doesn't work right the first time, try again.

Today's song of the day: I wish I felt nothing

Then it would as easy for me as it is for you. Lyrics.

Maybe I could get the hang of public life. As long as I was anonymous. heh heh

I tried to post a "Song of the Day" yesterday but couldn't log in. I think my DSL company performs some maintenance early Monday mornings. I couldn't really get anywhere on the net and the little light over the globe was red.
So here is yesterday's song of the day: Bachelor's Dance (La bourrée du célibataire)

I think the french means more like the dance of the singleton, with dance being a metaphor for that crazy thing singles do to find a long-term partner. Here are the lyrics (with lots of ads).

Learn about Jacques Brel.

I am easily confused by emotions. My strong suit is my head, not my heart. Symbolically, I need a dragon in my life. A dragon of understanding, compassion, love and acceptance. Okay. I got that from Chinese astrology. But I like it. I'm a rabbit searching for a dragon. I used to think a path of dragons would lead me to the source. Don't think it works like that. How do you lure a dragon? How do you become partners with a dragon? Donkey had the knack. I'm not a charmer like he is, though.

There is no real freedom. Of course, I could publish this and then suffer the consequences. That is not really freedom, then, is it? If real freedom existed I would have all possible options at my fingertips and be able to choose any option without suffering negative consequences. Some would argue that is freedom —being able to choose your consequences. As Shakespeare said, "Nothing is good or evil but thinking makes it so."

Do I really choose? I am a person of limited facility, undoubtedly a most excellent facility, but limited none the less. I have pre-dispositions. Hard as I try to be fair and open I am predisposed to choose certain things due to my background, training and biology. Certain options, like flying to the moon, are not open to me. Neither is buying my own country. Another option not open to me is calling up my ex-boyfriend. You may believe that is an option but it is not really. Well, okay, it's an option but an option fraught with so many negative consequences that it would be a lot like shooting myself in the foot. So, not really an option.

Let's review: calling my ex-boyfriend has a very small chance of success and a very large chance of bringing me closer to self-destruction. So, not an option. Looks like what we're really discussing is statistics, chance and betting. A decision is never a sure thing. A businessman once said, "If you are 51% sure make the decision." Well, that cuts both ways, doesn't it? I am 51% sure I'd like to call my ex-boyfriend. I am also 51% sure it would be a bad move for me at this time. When someone says, "It's better to end it." your chances of getting a good response to an objection are pretty low. Less than 51% I'd say.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling really sure, I throw percentages and statistics out the window and go with my intuition. Even my intuition tells me that calling my ex, as much as I would love to hear his voice and tell him things, is not good. Even publishing this is a bad thing.

I don't always listen. Maybe I should have mentioned that. I'm a bit stubborn. Inner directed, I like to call it. Self-directed. Inspired. All good words. ... and sometimes, just plain out of options. I reiterate (from a previous post now archived and no longer in circulation) I would not make a good companion to someone living a public life. I'm no good at it. I'm too open, too honest and definitely the wrong social and body type.

Peace.
<--- LInk to "Cry Baby (Live)" sung by Janis Joplin
CURRENT FADS
Music. what will be (my iMix)
Movie. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1993)
Activity. blogging and wondering
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. Daughter of Regals and Other Tales - Stephen R. Donaldson; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)

It's nice, in a way, to be back to normal and then in another way not so nice. What is nice? No more fear. No more intense longing for the beach. No more excitement. My feet are on the ground again. What's not so nice? No more intense longing for the beach. My feet are on the ground again. My life is flat. Isn't it odd? Life has got to be the weirdest contraption ever devised.

The sun goes down. The night comes up. It's all flat. Like plain ribbons of featureless color. I feel nothing. Well, sometimes I feel a little sad. Sometimes I feel a little angry or irritable. But mostly I feel nothing. At least at this moment. As I write I'm planning my shopping list with the other part of my head.

I was feeling better everyday. I thought it was the St. John's Wort but it wasn't. No one wants to know this. Well, then. Stop reading! Anyway, I was feeling better every day. It wasn't an overwhelming feeling of being lifted from the earth and placed into another dimension. It was like going slowly uphill and not really realizing how high I was until I looked over the first curve into the valley. Now I'm coming down, and. as we all know, it's a lot faster downhill.

Only time.

I am a freak magnet. Where do they come from? Why am I so easy to fool? Yep. I'm a fool – a fool for love. Well, my side of the street is clean, anyway. I am keeping some really nice memories. I had a good time for which I am feeling strangely grateful. I am not feeling vengeful. My last little spurt of vengefullness produced a very nasty blog. I deleted it, but kept a copy at home – as a reminder, you know. I am a little sorry for the innocent. They get caught in the middle.

So on to really important stuff: it's spring at last. The sun comes up in the morning and stays up until after I get home from work and walk the dog. Sooooooooo wonderful. It's the little things, you know.

Work is so-so again. That part is good. I'm no longer so happy that everything normal looks bad. Nice to be among the ordinary again. I'm looking for a job. Yep. Me. Looking. I updated my resume on Monster.com and already have received two offers to be a "financial advisor." What a great opportunity for a person like myself with no financial training whatsoever nor any desire to advise others on their finances. Could it be that a lot of my junk mail comes from Monster? Let's not be nasty now.

I got about four hours of sleep last night so I suppose I should try and do better tonight. Although, once I get past that initial tiredness ...

Current Fads
Music. Seal Seal [1991]
Movie. All of Me (1984)
Activity. recovering from yet another betrayal
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. Daughter of Regals & Other Tales - Stephen R. Donaldson; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein ... and some book on face-to-face communications at work
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)

Since joining the 21st century with my brand new DSL connection, I've begun to develop the habits. I leave my computer on all the time with iChat open. Very cool. It automatically detects when I'm idle (if I forget to change to the "Away" message) and then logs me back in when I return. The computer speaks to me, "You have logged in."

I just discovered the iCal calendar share website for wild calendars. Wouldn't you just love to have the Czech Origami Society events at your fingertips? What about Free Museums Times for New York? All you need is iCal and connection to the site. Or what about zack Frazier's daily going-ons. Calendar as entertainment, it's billed as "indie life of lesiure - daily activities of a 30-year-old gay guy in chicago." Wow! So many calendars, so little time. Heh heh.

I have DSL now. Forgot to mention that. Makes it easier to blog. I hope that's a good thing.

I'll be on TV tonight. I've voluteered to help the local public station stump for change. Beats hanging out on street corners with a sign.

Going to be on time to work for a change!

Current Fads
Music. The Beatles Abbey Road
Movie. Shrek (2001)
Activity. running local Mensa chapter
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. After the Funeral - Agatha Christie; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)

Just for Today
Just for today is a nice sentiment. "I can do something for 24 hours that it would gall me to do for a lifetime." as it says in the book Just for Today. Yesterday I blogged and this morning I'm blogging. While I would love to do this every morning, I know that I can't promise I will. I'm supposed to be doing Morning Pages (see The Artist's Way). But this is much easier and more fun. I'm actually writing not just throwing words out even though throwing words out is a lot of fun, too.

I've failed to report on my last free activity. There were two: Mike Hughes from The Martin Agency at the Creative Change Center, March 3; First Friday, March 4. I may never again get an invitation to a free thing if I don't report. Well, that may be a misconception, as I think the reason I got that great invitation to the tastily catered book reading is because I used to be a Friend of Library. I didn't know that's what I was. I thought I just had a community library card. I received an invitation last month to a Black History Month presentation but I didn't go. I think I had something else to do.

Uh ... I have notes from the Mike event.

Chunky soup. That's tne kind of mix he'd like to see. wbat l would do with 5 mil. Commission a huge controversial work of art and put it on the canal walk. Or get M. Night Shyamalan to make a movie here. Guy there tonight looked like him. I was scared. Everyone was nervovs. But it was good. Getting tbe closed-minded prejudice segments to talk to each other. what as creatives can we put into the community. Us with vision. Doing the best we can and not settling for just good enough. Being world class but in Richmond. Find categories and be good at them and build on that.

What Mike asked was "What would you do to improve Richmond if someone gave you $5 million?" There were a few ideas but none as good as mine. :-) Since then I've come up with a couple more, like convince a really rich and famous person to live here or hire some architect to build a really controversial but beautiful building, maybe M. Pei. (He's not dead is he? People keep dying on me and I don't find out until much later.) Mike's goal is to build a distinctive Richmond atmosphere that would be as compelling as San Francisco or Seattle. As my Freshman design teacher said, "Trying to be like everyone else is uninspired."

Other free event, First Friday, was fun as usual. The people attending this event get younger and younger every year. All ages were there including an ex-client of mine, my postmaster, and the woman from across the street and down one. Wow. Never expected to see them there. The art was not as new as it used to be. 1708 Gallery had the best art. Upcast was intriguing but not surprising. There was a small gallery that had some truly fine work. I don't remember the name of the gallery but all the walls were painted black and the works were crammed in next to each other. There was something "dirty" about the work that appealed to me. Some parts looked like hair glued on but I looked closely; it wasn't.

So that's my limit for today. Must go to paying job. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? As another book says, "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Current Fads
Music - Audio. U2 How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb
Music - Video. U2, "All Because of You"
Movie. Shrek (2001)
Activity. dating a Mensa dude
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. After the Funeral - Agatha Christie; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)

You'd think that The Beatles website would have all things Beatle, wouldn't you? Well, it has 5 albums, a couple of ads and links to three of the Beatles. I guess that John being dead he doesn't need a website, although George has one. Anyway, this all came about because I started singing "Here Comes the Sun" while I was making breakfast and thought how much better it would be to hear The Beatles (Note: never title your anything "The". No one really uses it and it makes sentence construction awkward.) singing it. So I pulled out the old album (Abbey Road – 33 rpm LP) and played it with my *record player*. Then I thought I would record it using my iMic but the free software wouldn't install from the CD so I downloaded it. Meanwhile, it's time to get ready for work. So I thought, "The Heck! I'll download that one song from iTunes." Nope. Apple music still not talking to Apple computer. I hope it's not an apple thing.

So back to The Beatles. Why is the site not an Everything Beatles site? I should be able to buy the music, the movies and any videos as well as get history and old TV news stories. Five albums? PuhLeeze!

Message to Griffin: bundle Final Vinyl with SoundSoap. Everyone with old LPs needs it!

Current Fads
Music (Audio). U2 How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb
Movie. And Now For Something Completely Different (The Monty Python Show) (1969-70)
Activity. dating a Mensa dude
Gadget. iMic
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. After the Funeral - Agatha Christie; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)

Delicious Company Wow. Need a quick way to blog? Try the "Blog Us" icon at the bottom of the page. I need one of those on my website. But to get back to the link—I'm drooling over the Library software and scanner set. If you're wondering what I would like to see under my Christmas tree (after unwrapping the package, of course) it's this set. Woo hoo! Scanning into my computer from 50 ft away! Cataloging hundreds of cds, books and games in minutes. Never having to wonder if I have it, being able to lend it out with a record of who's got it (just like a real library). Wait a second – need to wipe drool off of the keyboard.

I woke up this morning from the best sleep I've had in years. Truly. And then this day hit me. I don't know what it was but by 3pm I was ready to go home with a fried brain. I can't really say. I'm pretty sure I was okay at lunch so it must have been after lunch. Maybe I ate the wrong thing. You know, I'm obsessing.

After work I went down to the gym and gave it up. I was tired and it was cold everywhere. The gym is usually cold but today I coudn't bear it. OR all the people that were there. Instead of 2 or 3 there were about 8 people there. The women had used up all the high lockers so I was using a low one. Not bad in and of itself but bad in combination with all the other stuff. Two women were getting dressed in the shower stalls. Why? They have something I haven't seen yet? Worried they'll expose their gang tattoos? I mean, no one even gets down to less than underwear. So it was a lot of insanity that I just couldn't cope with. I gave it a think and instead of removing my coat I buttoned it up, wrapped up and gave up.

On the way home I had a brief moment of peace when I turned it over to the god/goddess/process. I felt much better then.

I'm going to have dinner now, bury myself in afghans and watch a movie. OR maybe make art. Whatever. Wait for the phone to ring.

Current Fads
Music. 2 Raum Wohnung In Wirklich
Movie. And Now For Something Completely Different (The Monty Python Show) (1969-70)
Activity. writing
Gadget. Palm Zire 31
News Source. BBC News - Americas
Books. After the Funeral - Agatha Christie; Thinking Like Your Editor - Susan Rabiner & Alfred Fortunato; The Holographic Universe - Michael Talbot; Sadhana - Rabindranath Tagore; A Wish Can Change Your Life - Gahl Sasson and Steve Weinstein
(Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a book addict. What can I say?)