alien drifter

So this is what it looks like from the outside . . .

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

panic! less than 5 hours to go!

Yesterday I told a co-worker that I'm writing a novel. She was so pleased and impressed I guess I'm going to have to actually do it! Have had one moment of calm assurance that I am a novel writer. However, lots of panic today and some rooting around for free, downloadable writer's software. Oh well. Into the fray I go.

I'm spending lots of time planning how I'm going to write no matter where I am and when I will write. I can't write this weekend or the next one but I do have Thanksgiving and the other weekends. Fortunately I have no evening plans and did not sign up for any free Barnes and Noble classes. I also have a vacation day, or half of it really, as part of it is dedicated to other things.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Monday, October 30, 2006

T minus less than 2 days

Ever since I signed up I've been in a panic. What had I done to myself? Could I really write 50,000 words in 30 days? Can I write at all? However, I resisted unsigning up. Then I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday afternoon and felt proud and happy that I'm writing a novel.

Attended the Richmond kick-off last night. 17 of the 28 who-said-they-would showed up. All sorts of individuals were there from high school students to retirees, from lost boys to confident matrons. Got a few pointers. Reading the book would definitely be worth it. If I crack up before the end I'll see about getting it as an audio book so I can listen to and from work.

One of the ice breakers we played was to tell two truths and a lie about yourself. What is it about me that makes me look like I don't have two Bachelor Degrees? Or that I don't look like a graphic designer? How is that supposed to look? Anyway, no one figured out my lie. I'm pretty good at that. I noticed the other successful liars were also middle-aged women.

Current Fads
Listening. Sting Songs from the Labyrinth; wind
Watching. The Lion in Winter (1968)
Activity. freaking
Gadget. Palm Zire
News Source. the news feeds in Safari
Reading. THUD –Terry Pratchett; Duden 2 - Stammworterbuch –Duden.de; Das Schloss der Blauen Vogel –Heinz Konsalik; GD USA; MacWorld; Fortune (Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a reading addict. What can I say?)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I'm a writer! and self-inflicted pain


I've signed up to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I'm totally nuts. I also don't feel like wating until November 1 to start but I will. Hopefully I will develop an idea and an outline before then. I know I won't be up at 12:00 am on the 1st to start writing. I'll let you know how it goes. Or do you have an idea for me? Wait ... does that count?

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

bees in your head

Welcome to the future! What is is all there is. There's no making it up. We may think we make it up but we just use the fabric of what is to make other stuff. Now isn't that clear? ...

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Corruption

Lying is the oldest way to make a living. Or maybe it comes right after telling the truth. In any case, I am no longer amazed by corruption. What amazes me is the flow of new minds surprised by it. At the bottom of everything is a person, a human being. Sure, you can talk about machines, but who makes them? Who programs them? Who operates them? It all comes down to people and those with the most power win. That's the way it is, that's the way it will always be (friends wonder why I'm depressed). The other behavior that no longer amazes me is ineptitude. Humans are inept. We make mistakes all the time. That things don't work right is just the way it is. When things do work right, that's amazing. When individuals show integrity and strength, that's amazing. That's the sort of stuff I like to see in the news. That's the sort of thing that's underreported. That's the great tragedy of these times.

I listened to a man discuss his fears about his upcoming move. He is a renter and needed to vacate and move according to a tight time schedule in order to transfer his life to a better place. After he had dismissed his anxieties he still had trouble believing his plan could work. I pointed out that it's about focus. He can focus on the fear that it might not work or he can focus on how he is making it happen. It was good telling him because it reminded me I can do the same.

I'm always looking for a release for my anger. A way to push it out, to let it flow from me. Taoism says to avoid the creation of anger. There are many ways. It's hard to remember them when I'm attached to what doesn't exist. Buddhism says to be present for whatever is. Each evening I write a short list of things I'm grateful for and what good I brought to pass that day. It's the hardest thing I do all day. It's hard to believe in the good and hard to admit I may have played a part in that.

Meanwhile, corruption is like water. If damned in one place it flows to another. It's relentless. It's all about making things last forever: the forever heaven, the forever good, the forever bliss. Those are lies. There is no forever. There is only now and now we must each do whatever we can to bring good into the world through our personal habits. Solving problems is what it's all about.

George Lucas has stated that bad people don't think they're bad. They think they're helping. In the Mormon church, the definition of evil is not giving others a choice. Good is teaching others how to make productive and constructive choices. Good is fostering compassion.

There's nothing wrong with anger. There is nothing wrong with expressing anger. Anger points to areas that need improvement. What's necessary is knowing the right action to create improvement. A person with power, money and intelligence can bring about much change. What about the rest of us?

Current Fads
Listening. Sanctum Sanctuorum Constance Denby
Watching. Shrek (2001)
Activity. not sleeping
Gadget. PDA
News Source. BBC News, The Naked Scientist podcast, Perceval Press
Reading. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - JK Rowling; How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life - His Holiness The Dalai Llama; The Summer Before the Dark - Doris Lessing; The Wisdom of No Escape - Pema Chodron; Wired; Fortune (Yes, I really am reading them all right now—I'm a reading addict. What can I say?)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Late Bird Report: Superman Returns

Ticket Line: none
Audience: people
Capacity: 50%
Balcony: closed
Organ Recital: None. It's Tuesday.
Report: It's a heartbreaker. Basically, a chic flick. It does more than warm the cockles of your heart, it melts them. I saw one of the ushers getting a hit of the feelings as the audience left the theater. She was smiling. It's that kind of show. I did talk to one person who saw it for the second time. Superman will never die. What we see is one way to start an undying myth. From the mind of a man into the hearts of the masses. I certainly hope the curse has been lifted.
Analogy: myth
Will I buy the DVD? Only if you watch it with me
Will I watch it again if it bites me? Only if you watch it with me

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